This year we are taking our family (along with my parents) for a weeks holiday during term time. I know a lot of people disagree with taking children out of school - and to a great extent I agree. However, because of middlest Autism, ADHD & Anxiety he cannot cope with busy, noisy places. So for the last two years we have taken him and the eldest out of school to go at a quieter time. This was after a few awful holidays where he could not cope at all.
Our life is spent planning visits anywhere when it is quiet and less noisy. A trip to park is early in the morning before its busy, or on a cold damp day when most people stay away. Most of our trips to the beach are in the autumn and winter, when all wise people are at home in the warm. A 'bank holiday' special event is avoided like the plague! We will be avoiding Easter Egg hunts this weekend. Even visits to friends or family (which are kept to a minimum) have to involve a plan for middlest - with somewhere quiet to go to, with his things to play with, his food packed, his easy to put on shoes at the ready for when its time to leave. Life is a constant focus of finding and doing quiet things.
This is why we've taken our holidays in term time - so we can find a quiet place to stay, visit the museums and attractions at a quieter time. We always leave it almost to the end of the year - when I know schools begin to wind down and tie it in with a Training Day at the school so they only miss 4 days. We take my parent with us to help manage the middlest. His obsessions mean he doesn't like doing things the eldest does - so we can split up and do different things or, if he begins to meltdown when we are out one of us can take him away and find somewhere calm for him. Holidays are not relaxing or much fun as middlest struggles to adjust and cope with new surroundings and by the time he does, its time to go home again!
Today I had a phonecall from the kids school. They told me that because both of the kids have slightly below the 95% attendance they would normally not allow them to take holidays in term time and because of this, they are willing to allow the midlest's problems to be used as extenuating circumstances and permit them the time off this time. However, next year they will not allow it.
I understand the 95% attendance limit, and I know both of mine have missed a few days this year due to some really nasty viruses for the eldest and problems with the middlest drugs which have made him ill. What has annoyed me is that apart from on 2 occasions I have sent them both to school, only to be called and asked to collect them - because they felt 'unwell' - when they got home, they've been well enough to stay at school in my opinion. I also know, that like most kids, they get poorly during the winter months and by the spring they rarely have a day off and their attendance shoots right back up. Its funny that the school send the middlest home every friday afternoon, as they cant cope with him and they dont have the provision to cater for his needs and yet that's not an issue for attendance.
So next year we have been told they wont permit his time off - so next year we either face a fine if we take them out of school without permission or we dont have a holiday at all. A lack of understanding about Autism and the impact on the family? Just a bit! If it was just a fun holiday that we preferred to take out of term time to save a bit of money fair enough, but there are serious reasons for us needing to do this. Suffice to say we will be fighting this every step of the way
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