3 Years Ago Today!

This time exactly three years ago today I was a nervous wreck!

I had split up from my husband of 11 years six months previously and had dived head first into internet dating.  I felt I had wasted too many years in an unhappy and abusive marriage and I wasn't going to waste another second.  I had been on a few dates and had even dated someone for a few weeks - all tentatively and a great way of discovering there was a world outside of the miserable existence I had been in for so many years.

But three years and one week ago I had got in contact with someone I'd seen online.  I just had this feeling about him.  It was as if I knew him, although we had never met.  We emailed and texted non-stop for a week - he was more keen than me to meet.  I worried that once we met he wouldn't feel the same about me and that would be the end of something that was already wonderful. We became Facebook friends which was a great way to suss out his family and friends and see the kind of person he was.  After this I gave in and agreed to meet.  However, I had no child care available and I did something that I can't believe I did now...I agreed to let him come to the house.  We had a standing joke about him being an axe murderer with enough room in his boot for a body...in hindsight it was crazy and irresponsible...but at the time I had no doubts at all.  We agreed to have a safe word - 'flamingo', and if either of us said it, it would mean we were definitely interested in the other person.  If we didn't, then there were to be no hard feelings but we obviously did not fancy each other.

I let the kids have a sleepover together and told them I was watching Dr Who - the eldest was so scared of that she definitely wouldn't leave the room and come downstairs.  I told one friend what was happening and agreed to text her if everything was fine.

  And then I waited - well showered, bathed, lotioned, shaved up to my knees (there was no need to shave the rest of my legs, it wasn't going to be that kind of date!).

 At 8.30 - once the kids were asleep I saw a car pull up outside and I almost passed out with nerves.  He texted me so he didn't have to ring the doorbell and disturb the kids - all very furtive and secret.  I let him in - was delighted at how gorgeous he was and scurried off to make a cup of tea in the kitchen while he took his shoes off (a good sign of a house-trained male!).

  I was literally shaking and trying to make polite conversation and we went and sat on the sofa and he made me laugh and we relaxed into a happy conversation about our day.  After about 10 minutes he said he had something for me and got a photo of a flamingo out of his pocket (this is not a euphemism .  And then he kissed me and it was perfect...suffice to say I should have shaved the top half of my legs!
 We chatted and snuggled on the sofa together until nearly 1am and then he left.  At this point I had a slight nervous breakdown that perhaps it was a one-off and we wouldn't meet again...but he texted me when he got home and asked to take me on a proper date two nights later.


  I knew when I saw his photo, I knew when I opened the door and I knew it was forever as soon as he kissed me.

  Three years and one wedding, one baby, one house move later I still know.  He is my soul mate and my best friend and I know he will be forever.