Opportunities!

Finally we have sun again!  It always makes me feel the need to wash clothes and hang them on the line (she say listening to the tumble drier!).

  This morning was spent trawling Asda trying to find Easter Eggs - I dont often go there, but their eggs are cheap!  It was packed and I got stuck trying to go down an aisle the 'wrong' way.  No-one let me through and no-one thanked me for waiting, (I did check for direction arrows on the floor like Ikea, in case I had broken a rule, but I saw nothing.)  Eventually I barged my way through telling everyone very loudly that I'd been stuck there for ages (it was at least a minute, which in trolley terms equates to about an hour).  Why am I telling you this?  Because this is the sum total of excitement I have in my life during the day! That and getting my finger bitten by my youngest when I tried to stop her yelling at the top of her voice - never put a finger in the mouth of 3 tiny teeth - they are like daggers!  At least me yelling stopped her yelling for a bit!

 There was a small glimmer of excitement when I received a phone call asking me to do some teaching for a couple of months.  A Year 6 class who needed someone after their current teacher walked out yesterday as their behaviour is so bad!  I was tempted - and had it been a nice, kind, sweet Year 6 class I may have moved heaven and Earth to get there!  However, with the youngest and the middlest still needing a lot of time and care - it's impossible currently!

  I miss teaching - more than I ever thought possible.  I left almost 2 years ago, when middlest was diagnosed with autism and I needed to do something, to somehow take control of a situation which I had no control.  I needed to be the one taking him to his many appointments, not my lovely parents.  I needed to be there to fix it...

 But I miss it.  For the first year I cried a lot (this may have coincided with becoming pregnant).  I sobbed at the film Nativity (like many - but for entirely different reasons!), I missed the kids, the friends, the parents and even the workload.  To this day I find it hard to talk about teaching - its left a hole and I mostly dont let myself think about it - I occupy my time with my gorgeous family and I know Im doing the right thing for everyone - without a doubt.  And I'm lucky - I get to be at home, I know not many have that luxury - I certainly didn't for many years.
 But oh my god, I am so bored!  My brain is a mush of 'how to entertain a one year old.'  Its astounding that I used to be a Year 6 teacher, Special Needs Co-ordinator, Senior Management and acting Deputy Head - and now the biggest challenge I face is how to get youngest to eat her dinner without throwing it across the room, (I still don't know!)

 Mostly I hate the isolation - all my friends work and gradually meeting up dwindles, apart from with one or two.  The rest have little in common with me now - theres not a lot to talk about once we have gone through the niceties and general conversations about how bad work is.  People move on - it happens in any workplace and you only keep in touch with a few, the rest become annual Christmas cards receivers - if they're lucky and the price of stamps doesn't go up any more!

So today was a passing reminder that teaching opportunities are still out there and perhaps one day I will get back to it and escape the trolley jams in Asda on a Thursday morning!  For now, its back to devising more ways to entertain a 1 year old!